Gendertrouble, lesbians and relationships

Posted: onsdag 9 april, 2008 by Tarald in GLBT, My transition
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

After reading Cheerful Megalomaniac’s post on lesbian (ex-)partners of transmen, I’m very happy that I’ve not had to deal with lesbians in that way. As mentioned before, I have a theory that it’s harder for women to accept transsexualism. And after reading the above mentioned post it seems like lesbians have an especially hard time with this.

You don’t find yourself a boyfriend, and then insist on seing him as a woman. That’s not how the world works, sorry girls. It is of course a bit complicated if you’re already in a relationship, but as Ryan writes ” No one should ever control someone elses coming out process”.

I’ve often felt happy that I was single while sorting things out and coming out of my “double closet”. To tell you the truth, I’m often happy that I’m still single. That might change once I start taking testosterone…

Kommentarer
  1. Rebecca sier:

    I think that’s really interesting, because my experience as a transwoman has been completely different. For me, it’s been women that are fine with me being trans, and men who are more likely to have a problem. I’ve also found this to be the case in lesbian communities as well. I wonder if the difference might be associated with the whole «butch flight» panic.

    You don’t find yourself a boyfriend, and then insist on seing him as a woman. That’s not how the world works, sorry girls. It is of course a bit complicated if you’re already in a relationship, but as Ryan writes ” No one should ever control someone elses coming out process”.

    Amen to that.

  2. genderoutlaw sier:

    I have read about lesbians being unhappy about «losing some of their ranks» to the trans world and was a little perplexed by this attitude. I asked a MTF friend of mine yesterday if this also exists in the gay men’s community. Her answer was a resounding «no». I’m not sure what this means, but it affirms my belief that women are complex, and this «enigmaticness» is part of what I find so attractive about them. 😉

  3. Jacky V. sier:

    Wow, I keep reading these kinds of things online but my real life experience is SO different. It’s the dyke community that helped me come to terms with being FTM. Many dykes around here think transboys are HOT HOT HOT, some of them bordering on being tranniechasers. Seeing how well transmen seemed to be an accepted part of the dyke (including lesbian and bi women, mostly queer-identified) landscape around here helped me realise that I could be happy in this existence, since I knew I would be accepted too.

  4. ShipofFools sier:

    I think that gay men often can’t deal with transwomen and lesbians often can’t deal with transmen. Be that that they feel threatened or that they just refuse to see the person as trans.

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