What if I was born with a male body?

Posted: lørdag 22 mars, 2008 by Tarald in GLBT, My transition, philosophy, Positive masculinity
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Cheerful Megalomaniac wrote earlier today: «I have to be honest, I wish with all my heart that I could have just been a normal guy, but I know that if I had been a normal guy, I probably would have been an entirely different person… and I kinda like me how I am.»

That reminded me of some things people have told me, like jokes, but serious deep down:

  • «If you had a penis, you’d be at home wanking all day long», my ex-boyfriend used to say – yeah, I guess. In stead I’m involving myself in queer politics, writing and a lot of other more productive activities.
  • «You know that you can get away with that just because you’re a girl? If I did that, people would think I was a misogynist macho-prick», a friend of mine said. – I’m afraid it’s true. I do a lot of things that are considered cool for a woman to do or say, but a sign of less intelligence if a man does it. And now I have to re-think some of my habits and ways of expression. If I’d been born a boy physically, I guess I’d never had to think about this stuff, and I would probably be really unconcious towards sexism.
  • I also have some typically male flaws that get balanced by my female upbringing.

I actually don’t think I would have been a very nice person if my body matched my soul and mind from the start. As I’m getting older, I’m beginning to like who I am. After I started my new life as a man, I feel more secure, happier and more social. I’ve gotten new friends who I love, and my few old friends have gotten closer. There’s also many things that I would never fully apreciated, things I would have taken for granted, if my body had been right from the start.

After all, I’m not really sure if I would have been born any other way. I would have been a very different person. Being male in a female body is quite a big part of what makes me into me. And I am learning to like the person I’ve become. Sometimes I’m actually happy.

Kommentarer
  1. punkfairy sier:

    Our female background is supposed to make us better men. I dont get it. What makes the fact that I know what its like to be sexually harassed (as female) a better man? Will it make me a better lover?

    I hear people (and especially women!) who love us say that «FtMs are good listeners», «FtM has the best of both worlds», «FtMs knows how to please a woman». Thats utter bullcrap!

    wait. nevermind this, Im gonna make a blog entry instead!

  2. Tarald Stein sier:

    Of course this isn’t true for all FtMs. But I’m pretty sure that I would have been a less sympathic person (not just man) if I grew up with a male body. That because my flaws are minimized through my female experiences.

    An example: I often talk loud, take up space and have always been kind of a besserwisser. Because I’ve been percieved as a girl, I’ve had to think about how this makes me look, if it’s necessary for me to behave like that and to stand up to the pressure to conform. I’ve seen how men take up space without thinking about it, and sometimes this makes them look really stupid and chauvinist. I know I would have been like that if I was a bio-male.

    For the most part the advantages of being tought to be a woman is all about appearance and very little about substance. But I think a lot of guys would have benefitted from being tought how to be a girl.

    It certainly doesn’t make me a better listener. Just because I’m silent doesn’t mean I’m listening 😉

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